step into the unknown

one of my favorite things for summer time in LA is the outdoor concerts at the Hollywood Bowl. it's even more awesome when fireworks are involved (it's the July 4th weekend afterall). Besides the music, the ambience, the exciting picnic food possibilities, there is also the time to sit, to talk with friends and family (we spend too much time in front of the tv, computers, and our phones... well, i am guilty as charged if not the queen of doing all of the above)...

so...

last night in the midst of the conversation, my friend commented on my recent turning of events, in getting married in september, moving across the country in a month's time, to become a part of a wonderful southern Black family that can be pretty different from my own Chinese family, and whatever is to come in becoming a wife, a mother, and hopefully a good support for a wonderful man in what God has called him to be and do... all of that as being brave and daring. so i told her "well, it's how God's been leading all my life. it just doesn't seem different this time around".

but later as i thought about it more, although J and i have not known each other for a long time, we've been able to become close if not best friends in sharing and being able to cheer each other on for the challenges in our lives. it is not hard to pour my life and trust my future into J just because of who he is (and that's through my own judgement, comments from close friends to both of us, and also new friends that i've gotten to know because of him, plus his family members)...

and the thing that i keep coming back (besides what i've written above) is the fact that all my life, i know that God is the One that has been watching over, leading every step, every move that i've made from taiwan to atlanta to burma to singapore to LA... and wherever else He is taking me (and us in the future). there were some hardships along the way, life issues that i have faced. and for some things, i need more work on. BUT, He has been great. it is not scary to go forward. it is not my own bravery or adventurous spirit (i might have some of that but like my name, Pauline, i often feel little and timid of doing even some simple things in daily life). it's just like knowing how J is and trusting that things will be ok. knowing God through out the years also requires that i would trust Him more and more. i think He makes it easy.

so how stepping into the unknown will turn out really depends on whom you are walking with and whom do you trust in leading you into the unknown...