i've recently decided to fast one day a week... for personal reasons and church needs.
today at lunch i was discussing about this with my friend. somehow she asked me how to discern God's will when there seems to have many open doors. i told her, sometimes whether a door is opened or not depends on one's perspective. i gave her the example, if i overlook the conditions of going to certain countries for missions, i think i can make it to most places in this world with no problem. but it was because i had laid down certain conditions of a environment also for my personal well being and growth, i didn't just go anywhere. same goes for choosing life partner...
but this has been a struggle for me... what's the will of God when it comes to some of those grey areas of our needs... the needs are real but not "necessary" to have in life... or there can be multiple possibilities...but as for someone's salvation, that's kinda a sure thing that when we pray, God's desire is for people to be saved (spelled out clearly somewhere in John)... but other areas are not that black and white... and so one week i was praying for something to go one way, the next, i am wondering if what i prayed is God's will and what if it's not then maybe i need to pray the other way???? (so confusing...)
well, our librarian, julie recommended me to read this book on spiritual discipline. as i was reading it on the MRT, it dawned on me that not being sure of how things will definitely turn out is where HE wants us to be... by not being sure, i would have to cry out to HIM and trust HIM every single moment in my life when it comes to these decisions... God can choose to give or not give...He's sovereign. He knows what's best for us... but He always wants us to give our full attention to HIM.
it's not for us to "know" but to "trust"... not sure if it makes sense... we will know eventually but in the process we just need to trust Him... the Sovereign God who is faithfull and good... loving and just...
the other day, a friend was very upset because of relationship problems... i didn't know how to counsel her and pray for them... last year a girl was going to SA and needed my advice when she didn't seem to get her visa in time... i told them both...i don't know how to pray for you... i don't know... i just pray and ask God for wisdom and His Will to be shown...
now i know... it's in these "i don't know" moments that God becomes real and the only One we could possibily grab on to... He's the only One we can trust... Trust and obey, for there's no other way... and "I'd rather have Jesus than anything..."
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