my mom's new pet

took some pix of this little dog that my mom had adopted from a friend... her name is dou dou (bean bean but previously named star) and our house is becoming more and more like a zoo...

happy new year!

this is for everyone... but posting now because some have already cross the 2007/2008 12 midnight line...

we still have more than 12 hours to go here in the western side of the north america...

anyway

HAPPY and BLESSED 2008!

enslaved by our pets

woke up this morning with this "meow, meow, meow" from sushi, my mom's cat. apparently she wanted water in the morning... and since i've been so nice to her, i have been turning on the bathroom tap and drip water to let her drink. and now i am enslaved by her meowing commends...

i think it's me... because mochi the dog did the same thing to me when he was living with us. he would jump up by my bed around 6:40~7am and ask me to take him out for his morning walk. and i thought after he had returned to eeyooore's house, i am free to sleep till whenever i want (except for the days when i have to wake up for work)

i think i am just too nice... and spoilt the dog and cat.

a confession

i guess i've been laying on the bed and keeping myself home bound for four days already. and thus writing more blog entries.. and finally forced myself to read one of the more interesting books on my reading list...

as i was finishing this chapter on "music as priest" (from Sound of the Harvest by Nathan Corbitt), suddenly i felt released and yet at the same time the need to confess... that i've been a music snob in the church all my life!

i guess the gist of what i was getting is this fact--new songs and new music should be a norm in a living and dynamic church organism. meaning that people with the inspiration of God should take it, write, sing, celebrate, refine in bringing a more complete picture of how to praise God together as a people of God.

but i know that in the depth of my heart or years growing up in the church, i've always viewed this as a specialized task for those well trained and singing in tune celestial chorus (or maybe even a privileged few). which is also to say that I belong to this group and not everybody else is welcomed. and actually on the flip side, i've put my own compositions and musical creations on the not-the-elected side of the fence thinking "everybody is writing songs nowadays. how will mine make any difference? i might as well not write"... and upon hearing this new group writing songs or that group making recordings, i just didn't see the point of me being involved with all this "music making" (for the King of course).

so... i should be glad that our God is a big and generous God who doesn't restrict the joy of music making or involving with music to the limited celestial choir above but to all humanity who will come and just worship and bow at His feet.

cold and cold

ever since sunday (or maybe it started on saturday), i've had this annoying cold... stuffy nosed, coughing like i am about to cough my lungs out, sore throat... and so i've tried to drink this yucky chinese medicines to help me feel better... taken super strength nyquil that knocks me right off at night (and can never wake up in the morning and feel very groggy after i wake up)

on top of that, our heater broke down. it only blows cool air. and we've yet to find anybody to repair the heater for the past 3 days.

sigh... and i've not been productive in anything much for the past few days.

pray that i'll fully recover soon and that we will find someone to fix our heater soon too!

listening to the Word

recently, as i am feeling my way to get regular QT going, i discovered that Back to the Bible has many different ways that you can read through the Bible. So i started with the blended reading schedule. in the beginning, it was a little hard to be reading so much at one go but then i discovered that you can listen to different versions. somehow that makes it better (read and listen at the same time)

well, so today as i was listening more than reading (josh 1-3, luke 14:25-35), there were a few interesting things that caught my ears. (particularly the OT portion)

• in order to protect Rahab's family, she had to hang that scarlet cord and follow the instructions of the spies or else the whole agreement is void.
• everybody knew in canaan that God was giving the land to them (fear struck the people)
• God "made" Joshua the leader through His Word (Josh 3:7) and His signs and wonders (crossing the River Jordan during the flood season)

of course there are more teachings that might be more important than these but just thought i would list these out and share.

Grace Mission International Church (Irvine)

ever since i came back, i've been trying to look for a church to worship, to serve, and to have fellowship at. i've visited a few churches and received invitations from different people that i've met to join their churches. there has been one group of people who approached me and this is the church that i'll be joining (or i've already joined)...

Grace Mission International Church has not started to have sunday worships yet. the very first service will be jan 6, 08. (to the cantonese, the date is very auspicious because it's 168 haha...) and i've asked to help with the youth/young adults group. since the church is just in the beginning stage, there is a group of 10ish youths for now. we'll have our first get-to-know-you session on Dec 22.

the reasons why i joined this church are...

ever since the beginning, the vision of the church is Mission focused (with at least 50% of offerings going into mission works, training disciples with mission work in mind, etc) and almost all the coworkers who are coming together had short-term mission experiences. (to me, this is why churches exist anyway)

diversity within the group... there are people from HK, SG, M'sia, TW. the hope is to also start a spanish speaking service one day

the family atmosphere, friendly relationships amongst the group that has come together to start this church... it's also in the dedication and hard work the core leaders have put in so far.

prayers every weekend during the past year in preparation of forming this church.

well, i joined the group for the first time tonight at an mexican restaurant to celebrate Christmas and also some birthdays. we sang a little and most people shared. i met a few new friends also. overall, i am pretty excited about new start and new possibilities.

at the same time, i do have my worries (it's going to be a long drive, i don't really know these people that well, i don't know how i am going to lead the youths or relate to them)... guess i need to pray more about all this and see how God will lead and grow me through this endeavor.

oh... why i started to write this entry is because somehow and for some after meeting me, they think i am college aged.

hahaha...

that nagging message

before i moved back to the US, i knew that God wanted me to spend more time in prayer.

well... since i am writing this, it means that i've not really done much of it.

so last week, i just searched online and found the vineyard church nearby. the pastor preached on james 5 (the last portion) on prayer. that night, there was also a prayer meeting at the church. since i am visiting churches and am not very sure where i'll end up with. i obviously didn't go back last sunday night. i think the thought to pray more slipped my mind as the week went by.

so this morning at Lake Avenue, guess what? the pastor preached on a sermon from romans 12:11-12. it's a message about christians keeping spiritual fervor but the last point was on prayer again.

so when i heard this morning's "reminder" again... i just knew that i need to do it.

sigh... pray that i'll be able to set aside time and set my heart to pray more...

counting my blessings

just some things that i've noticed these few days... counting my blessings

1. it's so easy to do laundry. just throw them into the washing machine and then the dryer. can be done within a couple of hours.

2. there are good music in churches

i went to visit Lake Avenue Church this morning. i think it's one of the biggest churches in the Pasadena area. the music was simple, a mixture of traditional hymns, contemporary praise choruses, pipe organ, hand bell choir, etc. in the short 1-hour service, i got to enjoy it all.

last night i went to a chinese seminary's 10th anniversary concert. it was held at a local presbyterian church. and they have their own pipe organ too! i was pretty amazed at the hardware of the church.

last sunday i went to visit the vineyard church at glendora (a pretty good church so they say). and a simple band of guitarist/worship leader, 1 female vocal, 1 bass guitar, 1 electric guitar, and the drums. it was also pretty awesome...

whobody???

got a call yesterday evening. thought the guy was calling from india... (because of the accent) asked about our home mortgage. tele-marketer.

when i told him that i know nothing about these things because this is my parents home and that my parents are not available, he asked.. "then whobody would know?"



whobody?

that's the first time i've heard this word... maybe i should look it up in dictionary.com

bad karma?

was at this restaurant tonight (to be nice, i'll keep the place nameless on this entry)... actually i rather enjoyed my first meal there last sunday with eeyooore.

well, we sat down to order. got our drinks and the complimentary bread basket. talked... waited.

other people came to sat in the tables next to us.

they got food

we continued to wait

my mom started to grumble... "we should get the manager and complain"

we just waited a little more. by then, it was about maybe an hour after we ordered. those people who sat down after us have finished their meals and left.

finally couldn't take it anymore and asked another waitress about our food. then the food came... mom's food was already cold.

the manager came out at this point and offered to take back the food and take it off the bill as well... then the waitress came several times to refill the coffee cups and asked if we need this and that... then came to say they will give us free dessert. we were too full to have dessert then... then i told the waitress that this is my mom's first visit and usually first timers get 4 free muffins... then she felt really bad.. "so sorry that i messed up your first time with us"

we gave her 10% tips.

had another incident two days ago...

is this bad karma? or my expectations for services in the US is too high?

Fuller Doctoral of Missiology program... here I come

Sent out my latest prayer letter today but i think i still left out some of you from my mailing list... so if you already got my email, you are hearing this for a 2nd time (or third for some of you...)

since the time i turned in my application to Fuller, it has almost been 2 months. i finally called last week to the admissions office checking the statues of my application. the lady called back on monday and told me that it should take about a week or two for them to decide on the new cohort for the ethnomusicology program. so i was thinking that i'll hear about this maybe by next week. but when i checked email yesterday evening, i was very surprised to see that i was accepted.

so there... i will be reading lots (i think maybe even more than the application process) in the coming months... and pray that i'll do well and finish well. (i haven't even started yet but i am sure i'll need to keep this in mind. haha)

two sides of a coin

have been complaining a lot about life in the US and have been spending a lot of time figuring out what car to buy, where to buy, what price to go for... and it's a "must" to get car insurance in the US so have been trying to figure that out all morning. well, a big thanks to my older sis who has been helping me a lot today. i think if i have to do this by myself, i would just die by now.

(this is for you, kat==>)

so... car insurance. basically been spending a whole lot of time and found out that if you pay the bear minimal, in the case of an accident (which is why you would get the insurance in the first place), you might just die and get nothing paid to you or those you injured or injured you. and you would still probably have to burn a big hole in your pockets even after paying about over USD$1,000 per year for the car insurance. this sucks! why can't they figure out a better system? (now i am talking like an american )

so this insurance thing is still being figured out as we speak.

and people say living in the US gives you many choices (no kidding!).... when i first went to singapore, that was one of my complaints of singapore (not enough choices)... but as i returned, i feel like i am getting headaches just to choose a credit card company, an insurance company, a (or many) bank account, a car dealer... no wonder people say living in the US makes life complicated. living in simplicity is non-existence here...

(i think i am venting as a part of the readjustment back to the life here)

ok ok... so the other side of the coin (as quirkie asked me to list out yesterday)... makes me feel that i lose some and i win some...

1. more space
2. most people are bigger sized so making me look like i am normal sized :D
3. get to spend a lot more time with family :)
4. get to watch all the american tv shows online at any time i want
5. weather in california is cool and dry

hmm... that's all of the positive for now... maybe that positive list will get bigger as i adjust better to the life here...

談話記錄

已經回美國一個禮拜了

前幾天在catch up 朋友們的 blog 時，發現大爹大媽要飛了。剛好看到大爹上網，問了他什麼時後有空，可以在他們走之前碰個面。昨天就一起約吃中飯，聊了一下午。

跟他們見面真好，他們一直都是我屬靈生命、服事、宣教的模範。好像一談起人和事，也有一種共鳴。非常酷。每次都從他們身上得到許多可以繼續思考的事．．．趁還新鮮，敢快寫下（不過這是我聽到的，不見得是他們說的，哈哈哈）

１．立志做小兵比做將軍不容易
２．為神在生活中做活見證就是學習耶穌基督道成肉身，順服大使命之方式
３．宣教其實不在乎location，如果能在任何地方做主見證，靠主的力量繼續成長、完全就能結果子
４．神在日常生活的帶領都是很奇妙（連我們吃飯要去哪，都有安排），但只在乎我們懂不懂得從神的眼光來看事情。

這只是其中的一丁點，還好他們十一月就回來了，希望還有機會多跟他們學習

birthday reflection

while it's still my birthday in hawaii, i better write something before the day is over...

yesterday morning i woke up rather early and couldn't go back to bed. one reason was that i suddenly felt very strange and sad that i won't be able to celebrate my birthday like the years before. this means... i used to get SMSsss, emails, bday cards, real gifts, dinners, movies and what have yous. i guess i was pretty spoilt. the birthday celebration went on for weeks even before and after the date.

but i think, i rather enjoyed this one today too. :D

thanks to whatever programs that alarms people to my registered birthday, i got tons of birthday wishes everywhere (multiply, facebook, emails, ecards, etc). esp from friends here in the US. but i guess the best part about today was the fact that i get to celebrate my birthday with my family. since my younger sis wasn't working today, we went hiking. then she took me to this cuban bakery with all the good foods (sorry, we both forgot to bring cameras), then went to IKEA looking for the suitable book-shelves cover (got some... once i clean the other stuff up, i'll take more pix). and then at night, my parents took me out for dinner. we had yummy "jiao zi" (dumplings) amongst other yummy foods. (sorry again, no pix were taken)

then, after we got home, i asked my parents if we can pray together. so we did. we shared and prayed for each other and many things on our minds (including those of you in ESC and ICC worship min)

although this birthday wasn't celebrated in the ways it used to be, i am very glad and blessed to have spent the day with my family

so i am back...

arrived LA yesterday evening at 7:30. thanks to my sis and bro-in-law, the move was very smooth. 3 suitcases and 1 bag of stuff. i am back. 8 years being away from home can be packed up in 4 bags.

we transited at san fransisco for a couple of hours. while i was sitting there looking at the people walking by, it seems so strange and unfamiliar. fear crept in and wondering what i am doing here.

mom and dad picked us up and we came home to have something simple for dinner. looking at "my room", i don't know how i would unpack everything and settle in.

today is sunday and early in the morning, i didn't feel like doing anything or go anywhere. i did what i know i've always done in times like this--read the bible. i have this dependency on God during uncertain times. i know that God has words for comfort and assurance. well, didn't read much then mom came in and talked with me. she is obviously very happy to have me back. dad had decided that we would go to lake for the sunday service. since i was up and didn't feel so sleepy, we went for the 9 o'clock service. it was the 5th sunday so a family service including children, youths, and adults. not so typical of the traditional service that i've been to in the past at lake. there was also a new pastor.

somehow, as i sat there, i started to remember how every time i returned to LA for visits and whenever we went to lake, i would receive something from the Lord. so i did. same reminders as before...

• prioritize our lives (focusing on the Great Commandment)
• enjoy our relationship with the Lord like Mary did (the message was focused on Luke 10 the latter part)
• surrendering of our lives (thru songs like I Surrender all, Seek Ye First)
• trust in God's goodness (thru song You are Good)
  

just unpacked all the suitcases and put my clothes away. the books and other stuff are stacked everywhere in the rooms.

i think a part of the anxieties and fears crept in as i came back last night came with the feeling of unfamiliarity. living in singapore for 7 years, i know how things work. being away from the US for 8 years, i need to re-learn how people and things work here.

i think i just need to take one step at a time, one thing at a time...

in hong kong now...

landed about 10:45 sharp. was picked up by my dad's friends (very nice of them). my uncle/aunt's friend's daughter also happened to be on the same flight.

i feel kinda dizzy right now. jj, sm, crab, and i all slept for only about an hour last nite. zzzzzz just had dim sum/yam cha with my aunt and may (the girl from australia).

just also read all the comments, jj's post about my departure. actually i also felt very horrible to have everybody going to the airport at such and ungodly hour (4am). but because of UA's worldwide computer system problem, i waited to be checked in for about an hour while they were having breakfast at BK.

my brain is not functioning right now.

all i can say is... i am still thankful to have good friends who came to send me off. although those from faith cell were filming and talking about those who didn't make it, i thought i am perfectly fine with it... the flight was just too early.

hmm... hope i am making sense. just want to thank those from faith/bbtc who came (even my cab buddy with his sleepy eyes) and also those bro and sis from ICC.

i started to felt very sad as i was sitting on the plane and tears almost came out (since i also don't like to cry in public)... it's a strange feeling. this trip out means my final destination will be the US of A instead of SG.

to be cont.. (when i am more awake)

what should i do?

last part of the packing consists of bags of letters and cards people gave me...

i told ms krong that i would burn them but she said it's too cruel.

so now they are stacked everywhere in my room...

so how?

clearing out junk

been packing, throwing things away and giving things away these few weeks

suddenly realized that i have been carrying with me junk. those small pieces of scrap paper with gibberish on them... plastic folders that have no more use... old batteries that have died long ago...

i've lived in 4 different places in my 7 years in singapore and i've been bringing some of these junk from place to place... almost wasting the effort of those who helped me move. they were moving junk!

this has certainly been a very good reminder for all things in life. i need to take time to sort through what is in storage physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally and dump out those junk that should have been thrown away long ago. if i didn't take time out to clear them, i would be bringing them from place to place without even knowing. as the years go, it might get heavier and heavier...

maybe this also helps for me to make sure i do carry those things that are worth carrying...

finished?

was hoping to finish the Fuller application essay by last night but i was just too tired so decided to sleep earlier and wake up earlier.

got up at 5:30am.

i was super efficient. although i have just finished (it's what? 12 hours later?), in the early hours of the morning, i also sort out my 40-page writing portfolio and penned down the proposed research focus statement. (every single step makes me wonder if i am doing the right thing or not...)

actually after writing for these few days, this morning near noon time, i felt stuck and re-read the 3 questions provided again. i just thought i was very confused. all three questions seem to be asking the same thing..(what's the theme of the three books and how does it impact your anticipated research...) upon closer look, i realized that there are three little words that i've missed.

what

how

why

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

went back to read what i had written by that point of time and felt rather hopeless.
then suddenly an uncle (one of mei's godfathers) told me thru skype chat
"add oil 加油“ and something else ... and that we will pray for you. i was very touched!

had my lunch and started again... added a few lines here and there to answer the questions.

so now...

finished

feels very unreal

Replace by Jim Lim

saw this on mich's friend's blogsite and fell instantly in love with the song and Jim Lim's voice.

my new favorite. :D

Jim Lim Live (Replace MV)

thank you, my friends

it's been 2 weeks since i cancelled my employment pass, which means the 2-wk social visit pass has expired today.

originally i had planned to go to JB (Johor Baru) with crab after she finished teaching in the afternoon, but as i chat with tracey on msn, she offered to drive me there and back. so we rushed over the not-so-crowded bridge around 4ish in the afternoon, going through singapore and malaysia customs. then turned right back around (with a quick stop for starbucks coffee) and came back through malaysia, singapore customs.

somehow two weeks ago, i was rather worried that i won't be able to get new social visit pass today and maybe i would be stuck over in malaysia during this very crucial time. but thank God with good friends accompanying me, i got another 90-day social visit pass after i've done this.

1st... i still want to thank tracey again for doing this for me. it really means a lot to me. :)

then... since i felt sorry to change plans with crab, i told her that we can meet for dinner. along came jj and sm (the usual sunday afternoon/evening companions for the past few months... and trips to malaysia also during the past few months). i have been craving pizza hut's super cheesy pizza and that's what we had. bumped into microyu and his wife. i forgot that it's her birthday today. (happy birthday, victoria! ) and it was just nice for us to borrow mircroyu's HSBC card to get a discount. (thanks, microyu )

when we were finishing dinner, sm came up with the idea for us to catch ratatouille around 9. while we were waiting, sm, crab and i went to the arcade and damaged our hands and fingers with crazy games. but it was fun. the movie was very cute as well.

as we were parting, they walked me to the MRT station and told me that they hope to catch me on such unplanned evening next week. i said... probably not... since almost all my lunches and dinners have been filled with appointments (also leaving a couple breakfast slots now...) earlier today, JT asked if i am sad to leave singapore. i said... what kind of question is this?

and until today, i've not sent a thank-you ecard to the faith cell for a very memorable farewell sunday night (my usual practice). as i blogged earlier, i have been worrying sick about my fuller application. been occupying my time either in reading or thinking of writing and preping myself with a lot of time before i write...

somehow... i know that times like tonight might never come again. this is very sad. my fuller application essay is nowhere near being finished but actually i am grateful to have spent the night with three of the most important friends/companions of my life through out my years in singapore.

i can never say enough thank-you to everybody. i probably will keep saying thank-you a million times more. and i truly am thankful... for all of you... i won't ever regret time spent with you over my essay. (i can work on it tonight even if i don't sleep so early.)

i wish i can capture all the moments and freeze them. maybe that's how heaven will be like.

the last leg

finally finished reading the 3rd required book for my fuller application around 2am on Monday (or rather it was already Tuesday... ). actually this was much later than my intended time of finishing by last Wednesday. i guess i still don't know myself and my circumstances that well.

been having farewell parties and dinners with friends... uncle morley and aunt sophie were here for the big evangelistic meeting for the chinese churches over the weekend... all these i had anticipated but maybe not the anticipation of the amount energy consumed. (what am i saying? i can't write!!!)

sigh... thus why i am still dragging my feet from writing my 10-page paper for the application and blogging away right now. i don't think it's that hard to write this paper since i have a pretty good outline in front of me. but i am plagued by fears right now. fears that i won't be able to hit the main points from the books. fears that i won't be able to find substantiate proof from the books to support the points. basically... fear of failure.

although i know this is normal (who is not afraid to fail?) and a lot of these thoughts are not very valid. i might not be the best thinker/writer in the world, but i think i do have some inherent abilities to analyze and write (thanks to good genes from mom and dad ).

just feel like screaming and beating myself up so i would just get to it.

i got an email from Fuller's admissions counselor this morning. both good and bad news for me. the email was sent to remind the applicants of the impending doom... (err... ha... deadline) of Sept 1. but at the same time saying that if anyone needs extra time, please let them know. LOL i think this is called grace and understanding from the school. even if i would take up their offer, i still won't have enough time with all the appointments lined up (ey, G and YL, don't take this as a hint to cancellation of our trip this weekend, k?).

sigh... so pray for me. i also need to pray and just trust God to carry me through. for the Holy Spirit to inspire and remind of all the things I've read and learned. just give my best and leave the rest to God... plus there are appointments abound and i am looking forward to spending time with people... (although i can never spend enough time with people)

Gambate!!!