so i am back...

arrived LA yesterday evening at 7:30. thanks to my sis and bro-in-law, the move was very smooth. 3 suitcases and 1 bag of stuff. i am back. 8 years being away from home can be packed up in 4 bags.

we transited at san fransisco for a couple of hours. while i was sitting there looking at the people walking by, it seems so strange and unfamiliar. fear crept in and wondering what i am doing here.

mom and dad picked us up and we came home to have something simple for dinner. looking at "my room", i don't know how i would unpack everything and settle in.

today is sunday and early in the morning, i didn't feel like doing anything or go anywhere. i did what i know i've always done in times like this--read the bible. i have this dependency on God during uncertain times. i know that God has words for comfort and assurance. well, didn't read much then mom came in and talked with me. she is obviously very happy to have me back. dad had decided that we would go to lake for the sunday service. since i was up and didn't feel so sleepy, we went for the 9 o'clock service. it was the 5th sunday so a family service including children, youths, and adults. not so typical of the traditional service that i've been to in the past at lake. there was also a new pastor.

somehow, as i sat there, i started to remember how every time i returned to LA for visits and whenever we went to lake, i would receive something from the Lord. so i did. same reminders as before...

• prioritize our lives (focusing on the Great Commandment)
• enjoy our relationship with the Lord like Mary did (the message was focused on Luke 10 the latter part)
• surrendering of our lives (thru songs like I Surrender all, Seek Ye First)
• trust in God's goodness (thru song You are Good)
  

just unpacked all the suitcases and put my clothes away. the books and other stuff are stacked everywhere in the rooms.

i think a part of the anxieties and fears crept in as i came back last night came with the feeling of unfamiliarity. living in singapore for 7 years, i know how things work. being away from the US for 8 years, i need to re-learn how people and things work here.

i think i just need to take one step at a time, one thing at a time...

in hong kong now...

landed about 10:45 sharp. was picked up by my dad's friends (very nice of them). my uncle/aunt's friend's daughter also happened to be on the same flight.

i feel kinda dizzy right now. jj, sm, crab, and i all slept for only about an hour last nite. zzzzzz just had dim sum/yam cha with my aunt and may (the girl from australia).

just also read all the comments, jj's post about my departure. actually i also felt very horrible to have everybody going to the airport at such and ungodly hour (4am). but because of UA's worldwide computer system problem, i waited to be checked in for about an hour while they were having breakfast at BK.

my brain is not functioning right now.

all i can say is... i am still thankful to have good friends who came to send me off. although those from faith cell were filming and talking about those who didn't make it, i thought i am perfectly fine with it... the flight was just too early.

hmm... hope i am making sense. just want to thank those from faith/bbtc who came (even my cab buddy with his sleepy eyes) and also those bro and sis from ICC.

i started to felt very sad as i was sitting on the plane and tears almost came out (since i also don't like to cry in public)... it's a strange feeling. this trip out means my final destination will be the US of A instead of SG.

to be cont.. (when i am more awake)

what should i do?

last part of the packing consists of bags of letters and cards people gave me...

i told ms krong that i would burn them but she said it's too cruel.

so now they are stacked everywhere in my room...

so how?

clearing out junk

been packing, throwing things away and giving things away these few weeks

suddenly realized that i have been carrying with me junk. those small pieces of scrap paper with gibberish on them... plastic folders that have no more use... old batteries that have died long ago...

i've lived in 4 different places in my 7 years in singapore and i've been bringing some of these junk from place to place... almost wasting the effort of those who helped me move. they were moving junk!

this has certainly been a very good reminder for all things in life. i need to take time to sort through what is in storage physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally and dump out those junk that should have been thrown away long ago. if i didn't take time out to clear them, i would be bringing them from place to place without even knowing. as the years go, it might get heavier and heavier...

maybe this also helps for me to make sure i do carry those things that are worth carrying...