humbled

yesterday morning when i took mochi (my sister's dog) out for his walk, i saw this man digging through trash looking for cans and bottles. as we passed by him, i said "good morning" and looked into his eyes. i think i was trying to "see" the man and related to him as a fellow human being beyond what he was doing.

ever since i moved back, i've seen homeless people on the streets of our neighborhood and always wondered "what can i do to help?" after talking to some ladies at church, there were cautions that sometimes it can be dangerous for women to talk to these people, but ultimately, just pray and see how God wants me to do.

last night when i was driving home from the office, i saw a small group of people standing on the street corner with the signs "vote yes for proposition 8" (voting yes for this proposition would revoke the legalization of gay marriages in the state of CA.). they were making noises and it was dark already. even with my loud music playing, i could hear the sounds they were making. but i just thought... people are so willing to stand on the street corner to express their views on some law, but what are we as Christians doing to express publicly the kind of self-less, unconditional love of Jesus Christ, which he expressed to those "sinners" around him when he was here on earth?

so back to the man i saw yesterday digging through trash. i saw him again this morning digging through more trash dumps looking for bottles and cans. somehow a thought moved me to gather some of the cans and bottles in our house and give them to him. i hesitated a few times by walking outside of our garage to see if he's still around... finally, i just picked up the bag of cans and bottles and walked to the man.

"excuse me, sir. would you like to have these bottles and cans?"
he looked at me with grateful eyes and took the bag.
he said... "have a nice day" and smiled.

as i was walking back to our garage and got ready to drive out to work, all these emotions rushed through me. somehow, i felt pain and wish i can do more. i felt joy thinking that i've done something finally to help a fellow human being who is struggling in life. as i thought more, i became very humbled by this whole event that had taken place because i know there is nothing i can brag about. what i've done probably can never solve this man's problems. but i can only be grateful that somehow God has provided an amazing life (both materially and spiritually) that some others just don't seem to have. who am i that HE cares for me in such ways?

i am humbled...