worship "team": learning about worship in community

just came back on a trip where i spent 2 weeks as a volunteer at the Southeast regional InterVarsity's chapter camp. well, so it happens that Joshua was the worship leader/coordinator for the first week where we did a mix of traditional hymns, hillsong songs, and of course several gospel pieces. i wasn't supposed to play (keyboard) for the 2nd week but was asked and i more than gladly accepted.

i have to say that both weeks brought challenges but of different kinds. in the past 10 years or so of my worship leading/playing/singing experiences, it's always been songs that i have chosen or with styles or chord progressions that are very familiar to my fingers. but not these 2 weeks. i've always wanted to learn how to play gospel style and/or jazz style songs but never had the discipline to see it through. so it's come back to bite me. our team came together after a couple of days and i was able to hide my poor keyboard skills because every team member was talented. i was very grateful that one night when i couldn't play the intro to Grateful that the flautist, bassist, and drummer covered me. it was especially painful to disappoint Joshua, my dear friend, future husband and worship leader because the gospel pieces really depended on my playing. but i learned to accept my limitations and will improve upon it in the months to come.

week 2 was a different beast altogether. we did many songs by Jesus Culture (something like Your Love Never Fails). basically the style of the songs were more rock, which is something almost entirely unfamiliar to me (esp. in terms of how the keyboard functions in a band). on top of that, it's also an entirely different team dynamics because half of the people on the team come from the same area and have been working together for a certain amount of time. i think it's always hard when there are established relationships in a group and you are supposed to become the same team within a short time. i have to say that it was a little disheartening to me. basically i felt like a failure all through out those few nights playing for worship.

but here is the irony. multiple people came up to me during the 2nd week and told me how good i played. i received their compliments with a smile and sometimes doing the chinese thing by saying: "nah, it wasn't really anything..." but with more than just one person who came up to me, it made me think harder as to why people were complimenting me.

maybe after a couple of days it dawned on me... it wasn't my playing but it was my contribution to the overall sound of the team that made it good. (because it's hard to think playing the same 4 chords thru out an entire song is that difficult to do... hahaha) this is something that i've not really experienced much. i think i've always been the one-woman show but this time around i was "one part" of the team and not "the team". it was certainly very humbling and maybe a hard lesson to learn because i needed to trust that the other excellent musicians and i could compliment each other in creating music that might help people enter into worshipping God.

i guess i will always have more to learn and grow from...