Sparrow

it's been a while since i sung worship songs freely at home for an extended period of time. at the beginning of the year, my new year's resolution is to give myself more time to rest and to be alone. tonight was one of those occasions. i started off preparing for tomorrow night's worship then just went on to sing some other songs. it was such a freeing and wonderful experience to be reminded of how God loves me thru the lyrics. and at the end of the night, i dug out the small hymn book that i have and found this hymn.

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

this is actually my dad's favorite hymn, which i sang for him last last year for his birthday celebration in taiwan. i also have a copy of the lyrics pasted right in front of me in my cubicle at work. somehow the words never fail to bring comfort and assurance--

His Eye is on the Sparrow... and i know He watches me...

selective memories

joy said our memories are selective
if we choose to remember too much unpleasant things
we go insane
but we still try
to capture time and space
by
recounting what happened
taking photographs, videos
listen to songs
taste the flavors
savoring the memories
actually both
for the beautiful memories
and
for those others unmentionable
or could it also be a vision, a possiblity
of what memory could be
captured thru another's eyes
dear friend, i'm stealing yours

let me heal

just let my tears drop one by one
with each memory that passed
the sweet memories we shared
maybe healing will come slowly
with time
each care, concern, and prayer spoken
one day will come
when all sweet memories stored
fears, anxieties away
when you are truly a friend
in the mean time
showers of friendship, love bring support
providing strength to stir the bleeding heart
in the process of recounting lost
more is recovered
though there grows inner strength
strength provided thru many
will also aid
let this process repeats
hurt less and less
with time

death of a hope

don't ask me how i am
just let me wallow in my sorrow
let me hide in silence because the pain is too much to bear
all the happy memories now sting
peg struck heart's core
oozing out blood, warm and black
tears flowing down the cheek
hope is lost, diminished
routine covering up the truth
smile as if nothing had happened
talk as if he's still in the glimmer of hope
protected when those around know nothing
of the crushed desire, slapped in the face
by reality of one who has spoken so cruely

maybe only death of this past hope brings life
seed of hope dies so life of another kind will bloom
who knows what will grow out of this
something beautiful?
yet in death still secretly desiring resurrection of this hope, this man
that he will come back into the glimmering hope
that piece of the puzzle completing the whole picture

inter-school games

we just finished two days of inter-school games among SBC (Singapore Bible College), TTC (Trinity Theological College), and EAST (East Asia School of Theology)... i played badminton because we didn't have enough players. actually our school is pretty small so we didn't really have enough people to play everything! i think it's the first time that i've played competitively for badminton. it's always been just for fun. well, thanks to some quick practice and tips from CL and ah boy, i felt a little bit more confident. but our opponents were almost pro. they were so steady and cool... needless to say, i lost... 8-15.

well, but that was yesterday... there were also basketball games played among the three
schools. today, there were ping-pong, volleyball and soccer competitions. we cheered for our team until my throat feels very painful and totally worn out... although our team didn't win 1st places, i have to commend them... you see, as i said before, we don't have many people in our school... of course not enough people to play. so at the end of the day, the same group of korean students played basketball on the first day (they got 2nd place), volleyball and soccer today (3rd and 2nd place). if i add up all the games they've played, the total would be 6 (i think...) and
these students are not 20 something, they are mostly above 35.

no wonder i cheered and applauded so hard for them... because they were truly amazing and truly dedicated... hopefully they will get some good rest this weekend.