The Passion of the Christ and pregnancy

last night at UCHC we went to the Good Friday service and husband was presiding and speaking (one of the 7 last words of Christ). before he preached, he started to call names of people and asking them to go up and share. of course he didn't mention it ahead of time that he was going to do that to me. but he did. usually i would be pretty nervous about this kind of last minute stuff especially up on the stage in front of people. but maybe because i've seen how it's done very frequently at the Pentecostal churches, i was rather calm about it. i didn't hear or he didn't say what he wanted me to do so i was sitting there thinking about what i will say or sing (because it could be either one of those things). as i thought about what i might share with the people, the images of The Passion of The Christ came into my mind. we watched part of it the other night since it was on TV. i think because i am pregnant and expecting a son, the scenes where they focused on Jesus and His mother, Mary's relationship drew out a lesson that i've not thought much about.

the movie was done from a Catholic angle of the Passion (or suffering) of the Christ. focusing on Jesus's eye contact exchanges with His mother, it gave me a sense that a part of how Jesus was able to continue on His journey of suffering was because His mother was there and silently supporting Him to completing the task that He was given. but it never occurred to me of the suffering of Jesus's mother during the process until the other night when i was watching it. as a pregnant woman, carrying a child for 9 months, raising the child to her best abilities, who would want to see their child suffer? yet Jesus's mother, Mary did not protest or fight like Peter did in Matthew 16:21-23. she was obviously in pain and yet it's almost like she knew that Jesus's suffering was necessary. it was the purpose of why He came into the world.

although i've known that in being obedient to God, not only do we need to pay the price but the people around us also need to pay the price along with us. still, to endure the kind of suffering Mary, the mother of Jesus, had to endure, it seems rather cruel and harsh. it made me think about all those times when i went on short-term missions trips especially those in very rural, non-contactable areas. i knew that my mother (or parents) had to suffer to some extend because of my obedience to follow God's call in my life. i always pray before and during the trips that God will watch over my family and bring the "peace beyond all understanding" to them (which He always did). but this is just one of the realities or the price to pay in being obedient to God and following Him.

maybe it makes the Christian walk harder. yet maybe the thought of how this community around us (or Body of Christ) is so necessary even when it comes to being obedient to what God calls us to do. and maybe it's also in the community or the Body's support (along with God and His Spirit's enablement) that we can continue to carry on this Christian journey.

God is the God of China and all creation

one of the reasons why i really enjoy talking to my beau, Joshua, is that we can be just talking about random things in our lives and somehow come up with really cool missiology or theological insights...

this morning we had an awesome conversation. i thought it's worth blogging about since it was sorta my idea and he made it better :D:D:D

somewhere in the conversation, i said:

"God is the God of China and all creation"

i said that because of a small observation i made from the conference we had this past weekend (the Missions Prayer Conference in LA). during the first night's worship, we sang How Great Thou Art. since the conference was conducted in mandarin, naturally the powerpoint slides were all presented in chinese. but what was interesting (no matter if it was intentional or not), is that the background of the slides that might look something like this. when looking at these kinds of images, it just communicates "China" or chinese... it's pretty amazing of how God made mountains, trees, and the fogs in a certain way. when looking at the exact combination of what that scenery looks like, it just says "china"...

usually when we sing How Great Thou Art, people talk about the beauties of creation, the Grand Canyon or the Niagara Falls, which are all awesome creations that give us a sense of... well... awe. God also made the Yellow Mountains or the Stone Forest of China.

here's where Joshua made this whole discussion even more meaningful... when he commented on how amazing "God is the God of China and all creation", i understood the deeper implication of what i said. God is both specific and general in how He relates to people. when i said that God is the God of China, it means that He's very specific in creating the people, culture, and even the sceneries are that uniquely Chinese. yet at the same time, He is general in that He made ALL things because He rules over ALL!

sometimes we tend to generalize the fact that we are all christians and we are all the same but in turn might reflect the fact that we have lost our unique identity as an individual and even a cultural group. it is important for those of us who believe in God and follow Jesus to see that we belong to ONE Lord. but at the same time, it is also important for us to appreciate who we are as individuals and cultures in our contribution to making that ONE richer and more complete. if we do not know who we are or the unique contribution we can offer from our culture, how are we to contribute to the whole of the Body of Christ?

what will happen to them?

with hand gestures, muffled voice, heavy cigarette smoke breath, tangled hair, and grey blue-ish eyes, this white lady talked to me for maybe 5 minutes. she gestured upward as if she's pointing to God. she made a circle around her stomach area and said something about "surgeries", "train ride" "washington DC"... and tried to give me fist bumps or some secret hand shake. i just nodded and looked into her eyes. at the end, i said, "God bless you" and that's about all i could say or do. she hugged me.

another encounter was this little black girl just walked up to me and said "i spilled on my jacket". (she was the cutest thing) i saw some paper towels sitting on top of an old laundry machine and started to try to soak up the stain. i said, "you got to be careful with the drink." while she was still holding on to that cup of hot cocoa or something that they were giving out along with the meals. she then said to me, "i think we need to go to the bathroom and wash it off." so we went into the bathroom. i took some more paper towels and wet it with water and started to wipe her yellow hoddie. then she said, "my mom will wash it later." then we went back to where i was standing. she ran to her mom along with her 2 other siblings while the mother was still trying to grab more shirts or pants or blankets. i think the mom said "get into the car" as they were about to leave...

before i met with our church people at one pastor's house this morning, i told myself "i'm going to learn from these people today, to try to love them and respect them as God's precious creations." i think all 30 some people went were rather nervous because it's an environment and people very unfamiliar to us. we drive nice, big vans and live in nice big houses. we have warm clothes and can choose anything we wish to eat. the only worry is "will i get fat?" or "is this healthy for me?" i think i am no different from the rest of the group.

coming away i kept wondering how will they survive this rare and harsh cold LA rain? with no shelters, their clothes or blankets will be wet. i think experiences like this always leave me feeling very helpless. i honestly can't say that we made a huge difference with the few hours of our lives pretending that maybe even doing this once every three months will be enough. maybe it's also one of my excuses for not doing anything with the homeless regularly because i just don't want to walk away feeling helpless all the time.

(despite the mental knowledge that God is all powerful and He can do something about it if people would go to Him and if He chooses to change their lives)

it did remind me of those days sharing with the villagers (the women, children, and elderly folks) in the mountains of thai-myanmar border about God's promises to bless His people. it was a rather ironic scene and experience for me back then. although at the end of that one year, i did hear of what God has done in helping the villagers thru another missionary.

but still, i wonder what will happen to the faces i saw today... what will happen to the lady who was trying so hard to communicate her pain to me? what will happen to the little girl who spilled hot cocoa on her yellow hoodie? and all the others...

jumping on the bandwagon (that might have left already)

Thanks to elderj and David Park and various newly acquainted AA (Asian American) friends, I've recently been exposed to the "Deadly Viper" controversy (which should be more or less over by now)... but I think the discussions about culture, race and Christianity continue

Just had some thoughts this morning that I'd like to share...

So far, it seems that the AA community involved (or those who are sympathetic and understanding) feel rather cheated by the turn of events. Because even with the book being pulled off the shelf and an official apology from Zondervan, it's like merely throwing a small rock in the ocean. There's no big change in the bigger American Christian community.

So here's my thought... If we (AA) are trying to educate the non-AAs on our culture and background, how about some more proactive actions?

It's true that images of Kungfu fighting (or movies, TV series) are a tiny bit of what the Asian culture is all about. Why not take it a step further? Take it as an opportunity to take people further into our own cultural background and things that we are proud of. (maybe we need more people in the media and entertainment business to create more opportunities? and of course more interpersonal interactions?)

But as a 1.5 Gen Chinese-American, I am not quite sure what all I can present to those non-Chinese as to the pride of my cultural background and what it's all about. As I've started to research and explore this complex subject, hopefully I'll have more to offer in the days to come.