to be married off

so i've also just come back from spending some extended time with Joshua and his family, particularly his dad since i stayed at his place for about a week. before i met Bishop Settles (Joshua's dad), i already heard Joshua describe what kind of man he is. i think it was back in January, after my first visit that he wrote on my facebook something to the effect of welcoming me as his future daughter-in-law (before there was any formal proposal, chinese or american ways). and so for this visit, i had the opportunity to spend some mornings with him just to chat over coffee and his really delicious apple raisin oatmeal.

ever since i got to know Joshua, i have been learning about the struggles and the painful history for the Black Americans. somehow the high school and colleges i went to never taught me this part of the american history. before i met Joshua's dad, i was thinking that i'll ask him about his experiences as a Black American thru his childhood, Civil rights movement, etc. but as the two of us sat down over breakfast, our conversations did not revolve around some historic incidents or experiences but just common, everyday, life kinda stuff. so i found out that we both love to desserts, have dealt with people problems within the church, and for me to hear stories of Joshua growing up as a child and of his marriage with his late wife. it wasn't about my Chinese past and his Black American experiences. it was about us being people with families, as ministers of God to His people.

after my 3-week trip, i'm home and i've been sick. i just haven't had much time to share with my parents of my experience in the past three weeks. so when i did talk to my mom briefly over dinner the other night, there were a lot of concerns and worries. it's as if getting married to a wonderful man and family who happen to be "Black" is a disease that requires lots of caution and maybe even some vaccination shots. (ok... maybe that's a little bit too exaggerated but it sure doesn't make me feel like i'm being trusted for my decision to marry this Black Southern American man)

in the past few months it did occur to me that although i've been very exposed to various peoples and cultures, lived in very rural mountainous areas of SE asia, grew up in "the south" and feeling rather southern at times, felt thoroughly welcomed by Joshua's family and friends, all these experiences are "mine" until i share as much of my experiences with my parents for them to understand how amazingly at home i've felt in the past three weeks.

i suppose i am being "married off" since i'm a girl and will be moving across country, joining my new family, learning Black, southern culture... i suppose my parents feel like they are losing me to "the unknown" and maybe even into a very scary "Black" family. but so far in my own experiences, i'd have to say i'm sooooooooo looking forward to this new chapter of my life, in learning, failing, love and hate my life at the same time... i do believe our skin color affected our life experiences but i've found lots of similarities just by being human. and if history has proven of God's faithfulness and goodness in my life, i don't see how this would be any different from before. i've lived in a couple of foreign country for years knowing very little about those places and ended up loving those peoples. i don't think it will always be easy but it will be good. it will be good not just because i know the Settles will be good to me, but also that God is good and faithful.

mom and dad, i guess i'll try harder to help you get a glimpse of how good my world is. and i pray that you will trust God and His leading. His "good, perfect and pleasing" will for my life and future.

engaged??!!

my family and friends know that i've prayed for marriage and family for a long time (maybe for about 10-15 years?). and they have also been praying for a long time. it has been a rather long and tiring journey filled with weird and interesting stories.

when i met joshua last year, everything suddenly seemed to move rather quickly for our relationship. but it wasn't at a pace that seemed too fast for the both of us. i guess after 10-15 years of waiting, my time has reached its fullness.

so even after our first meeting in person back in Nov, we've talked about a timeline of how things might work out in our relationship. at the time, it seemed reasonable. it was with the considerations of joshua's work schedule requirements (he's taking a team to Ghana this summer for missions), my studies (almost done with my DMiss degree at Fuller), our age and desire to have children (he wants quite a few and i love kids too), and also a reasonable adjustment period for our families. i had also wanted my uncle to marry us, and since he's a very busy man, we've tentatively set a date for our wedding on Sept 11, 2010.

so joshua's visit was a determining point or a point of confirmation for whether we'll continue to follow the timeline we've discussed previously or not. as far as i know, joshua has been much more than i can ever imagine as a suitable future husband and father of my children. i had no doubt that we would make a good couple and family especially in serving the Lord and (hopefully) bringing glory to our mighty God and King.

and as i had thought, his visit went very well. i was especially appreciative of his willingness to accommodate and learn about chinese culture and ways of doing things... to at least try the different foods (like sea cucumber and chicken feet) and say "ya, that's pretty tasty". to preach at my church and get the approval of my current church family, to endure the stare from random chinese people walking down the streets of alhambra or even getting some impolite treatment at this chinese grocery store. to spend time with me and my family even when he has a million things to take care of related to his job.

so ya, we are engaged (in a very chinese, community, family kinda way instead of the american, individualistic kind of way), and have started to prepare for our wedding in sept and our life together. (to say those words together in a sentence still seems rather surreal to me.)

(here's his rather humorous version of our engagement and future plans... On Engagement Rings, Oreos, and Impromptu Parties)

i am thoroughly grateful... to God, our families, friends because of all the prayers, words of encouragement, good advices, willingness to chip in and help for the wedding prep. i'm grateful for God's design, good timing, perfect will that i can truly testify now.

really... thank you all who have prayed along the way, who have been by my side when things didn't work out, with the tears and frustrations... and for those who are still waiting on God's good design and plan, i'll be praying for you and trust that He has the best in mind for you as well. :)

God is the God of China and all creation

one of the reasons why i really enjoy talking to my beau, Joshua, is that we can be just talking about random things in our lives and somehow come up with really cool missiology or theological insights...

this morning we had an awesome conversation. i thought it's worth blogging about since it was sorta my idea and he made it better :D:D:D

somewhere in the conversation, i said:

"God is the God of China and all creation"

i said that because of a small observation i made from the conference we had this past weekend (the Missions Prayer Conference in LA). during the first night's worship, we sang How Great Thou Art. since the conference was conducted in mandarin, naturally the powerpoint slides were all presented in chinese. but what was interesting (no matter if it was intentional or not), is that the background of the slides that might look something like this. when looking at these kinds of images, it just communicates "China" or chinese... it's pretty amazing of how God made mountains, trees, and the fogs in a certain way. when looking at the exact combination of what that scenery looks like, it just says "china"...

usually when we sing How Great Thou Art, people talk about the beauties of creation, the Grand Canyon or the Niagara Falls, which are all awesome creations that give us a sense of... well... awe. God also made the Yellow Mountains or the Stone Forest of China.

here's where Joshua made this whole discussion even more meaningful... when he commented on how amazing "God is the God of China and all creation", i understood the deeper implication of what i said. God is both specific and general in how He relates to people. when i said that God is the God of China, it means that He's very specific in creating the people, culture, and even the sceneries are that uniquely Chinese. yet at the same time, He is general in that He made ALL things because He rules over ALL!

sometimes we tend to generalize the fact that we are all christians and we are all the same but in turn might reflect the fact that we have lost our unique identity as an individual and even a cultural group. it is important for those of us who believe in God and follow Jesus to see that we belong to ONE Lord. but at the same time, it is also important for us to appreciate who we are as individuals and cultures in our contribution to making that ONE richer and more complete. if we do not know who we are or the unique contribution we can offer from our culture, how are we to contribute to the whole of the Body of Christ?

jumping on the bandwagon (that might have left already)

Thanks to elderj and David Park and various newly acquainted AA (Asian American) friends, I've recently been exposed to the "Deadly Viper" controversy (which should be more or less over by now)... but I think the discussions about culture, race and Christianity continue

Just had some thoughts this morning that I'd like to share...

So far, it seems that the AA community involved (or those who are sympathetic and understanding) feel rather cheated by the turn of events. Because even with the book being pulled off the shelf and an official apology from Zondervan, it's like merely throwing a small rock in the ocean. There's no big change in the bigger American Christian community.

So here's my thought... If we (AA) are trying to educate the non-AAs on our culture and background, how about some more proactive actions?

It's true that images of Kungfu fighting (or movies, TV series) are a tiny bit of what the Asian culture is all about. Why not take it a step further? Take it as an opportunity to take people further into our own cultural background and things that we are proud of. (maybe we need more people in the media and entertainment business to create more opportunities? and of course more interpersonal interactions?)

But as a 1.5 Gen Chinese-American, I am not quite sure what all I can present to those non-Chinese as to the pride of my cultural background and what it's all about. As I've started to research and explore this complex subject, hopefully I'll have more to offer in the days to come.