receiving grace

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
James 1:17 (NIV)

This is a verse that I've memorized many many years ago. Over the last 10-15 years, it has been a struggle to try to understand what it means in the context of my desire for relationship, marriage, and family. I struggled wondering if I would be able to fully comprehend what this means and just accept a biblical truth by faith even when there's not even any glimpse or possibilities on the horizon.

Well, I would have never imagined that God in His good timing would bring someone so wonderful into my life. In the past 2 1/2 months, it has been a rather surreal experience. I still want to pinch myself and make sure that I'm not dreaming. Joshua has been all that and more of what I would ask for in a man. I think it is interesting of how when so many friends and family in our lives are rejoicing and celebrating the fact that God has given us someone new and wonderful. It just seems hard to fully receive this "good and perfect gift" from God.

Maybe this is why it is so hard for people to grasp how grace and salvation and be freely given... if I can't even just rejoice and enjoy the "good and perfect gift" from God that's in a form of a wonderful man.

but I'm coming around to it... in receiving... in rejoicing... and giving thanks....

priced possession

you were created--
fearfully and wonderfully
priced possession of the creator Lord God
the Almighty who spoke and the world came to being

you are loved and adored
with eternal, unmoved love
of the One who would sacrifice His only Son, His all
so you can connect, feel the deep love and desire
of the ultimate Husband never imagined existed

He adores you and lavishes His love upon you
not fearing going the distance
no matter how much the cost would be
knowing your most imitate desires and needs
feel all your joy and pain

None in this world can compare to Him

He never gives up
constantly pursuing you
no matter how muddied, scared you've become
no matter how you've exchanged substitute loves that can never compare
no matter how hard you tried to earn the wrong fulfillments in life
He is amazing, He loves you
very much

Sparrow

it's been a while since i sung worship songs freely at home for an extended period of time. at the beginning of the year, my new year's resolution is to give myself more time to rest and to be alone. tonight was one of those occasions. i started off preparing for tomorrow night's worship then just went on to sing some other songs. it was such a freeing and wonderful experience to be reminded of how God loves me thru the lyrics. and at the end of the night, i dug out the small hymn book that i have and found this hymn.

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion?My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

this is actually my dad's favorite hymn, which i sang for him last last year for his birthday celebration in taiwan. i also have a copy of the lyrics pasted right in front of me in my cubicle at work. somehow the words never fail to bring comfort and assurance--

His Eye is on the Sparrow... and i know He watches me...