finished?

was hoping to finish the Fuller application essay by last night but i was just too tired so decided to sleep earlier and wake up earlier.

got up at 5:30am.

i was super efficient. although i have just finished (it's what? 12 hours later?), in the early hours of the morning, i also sort out my 40-page writing portfolio and penned down the proposed research focus statement. (every single step makes me wonder if i am doing the right thing or not...)

actually after writing for these few days, this morning near noon time, i felt stuck and re-read the 3 questions provided again. i just thought i was very confused. all three questions seem to be asking the same thing..(what's the theme of the three books and how does it impact your anticipated research...) upon closer look, i realized that there are three little words that i've missed.

what

how

why

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

went back to read what i had written by that point of time and felt rather hopeless.
then suddenly an uncle (one of mei's godfathers) told me thru skype chat
"add oil 加油“ and something else ... and that we will pray for you. i was very touched!

had my lunch and started again... added a few lines here and there to answer the questions.

so now...

finished

feels very unreal